Coaching...For a Change: Barriers Hiding in Plain Sight

“Rocky: I can't do it.

Adrian: What?

Rocky: I can't beat him.

Adrian: Apollo?

Rocky: Yeah. I been out there, walking around, thinkin'. I mean, who am I kiddin'? I ain't even in the guy's league.

Adrian: What are we gonna do?

Rocky: I don't know.

Adrian: You worked so hard.

Rocky: Yeah, it don't matter, cause I was nobody before.

Adrian: Don't say that.

Rocky: Come on, Adrian. It's true. I was nobody. But that don't matter either, you know? Cause I was thinkin'... It really don't matter if I lose this fight. It really don't matter if this guy opens my head either. Cause all I wanna do is go the distance. Nobody's ever gone the distance with Creed. And if I can go that distance and that bell rings and I'm still standin', I'm gonna know for the first time in my life, see, that I weren't just another bum from the neighborhood.”

– Rocky, 1979

SPOILER ALERT!! He did lose that fight. However, he was successful in going the distance with Apollo Creed; even to the point where he almost won. But can you imagine if that conversation went differently? What if, the night before the fight, Rocky crawls into bed with Adrian and says, “I’m gonna win that fight, Adrian. Nobody’s ever gone the distance with Apollo and not only am I gonna go the distance, I’m gonna win!” As talented, strong, and determined Rocky was, he may very well would have won. After all, spoiler alert again, he won the second time he fought Apollo in Rocky II. He had it…physically. In that moment however, he did not have it…mentally, and I believe it cost him that fight. This was a perfect example of a barrier, something that gets in our way when moving toward change, transformation, or goal achievement.

Barriers are a major factor in our inability to achieve the things we want in life; and they come in all shapes, sizes, and forms. Most of the time, we are aware of our barriers. However, there are certain barriers we are not aware of, mainly because they reside in our head. When our barriers are in our head, it’s hard to detect because they hide almost in plain sight.

Let’s take Rocky for example. To him, his biggest barrier was Apollo, a world champion boxer. However, I think his biggest barrier was his genuine belief that he was not capable of beating Apollo; despite being in the kind of shape that could beat him. In the coaching world, this would be considered a negative assumption. These are the things we hold true in our head but are not quite grounded in any fact. If I were Rocky’s coach, and heard him say those words, I would first ask him what he saw or experienced that support what he just said. He never fought Apollo, he’s been training like his life depended on it, and he’s been training with a top boxing coach in the area. Where did he even get that thought from? How would this kind of thought support his ultimate (I hope) goal of winning the fight against Apollo Creed?

Given Rocky in this case is a fictional character, I can’t say how he would answer. But the example rings similar for so many of us. Stealthy barriers like negative assumptions have major impacts on how we move forward; or in some cases, don’t move forward. When engaging with a coach, they will listen to you and challenge some of the thoughts and ideas that do not support your goals. They are trained to spot these stealthy barriers that only reveal themselves when you answer certain questions or talk about a certain topic. Other barriers can include limiting thoughts based on an interpretation of certain events. For example, you could be given a golden opportunity to participate in an event beneficial for your personal growth but turn it down because you had a negative experience. A coach would challenge the idea that it would happen again.

We pay attention to what you say and how you say it. So, when you say you can’t do something or you’re never going to be able to do something, we help you explore whether it holds true in the real world. Simply bringing awareness to these barriers is a major step toward eliminating them. After all, it’s very hard to fight something you can’t see. A coach not only sees it, but helps you see it as well; and figure out ways to move forward from there.

I could write a book – okay, maybe not a book. A blog maybe? – about the many different barriers residing in our head. Negative assumptions and limiting thoughts are two of the biggest. Working with a coach, even for a couple of sessions, can shed light on some of your stealthy barriers and work with you to devise a plan that works best for you.